Do you believe in long distance relationship? Where you are oceans apart and the only same thing you see are the skies. Where hours, days, months and years will pass that you are not together. The sun will rise and set without seeing each other. And the only thing you both depend on are your mobile phones for easy communication. The internet is your bridge for your long distance love affair. The pictures are the ones who tell stories about the recent happenings in both of your lives, it’s where you will wish for him/her to be there, to be with you. In other words, the only things you depend on are your love, trust and promises.
Probably, you are one of many people who will object, disagree and will not support this love affair. Is it because the world is full of temptations? Is it because it’s hard to bet and gamble love because you don’t know if he/she is worthy of your trust? Or is it because you are afraid to believe and hope and in the end you’ll only get hurt? There are really many things people are afraid of. Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of losing. Afraid of hoping on false hopes and believing in broken promises. That’s why long distance relationship is now slowly becoming a make-believe or so called only-in-the-movies-stuff. They don’t believe in it anymore. Is love not enough to fight temptation and can’t people be patient enough to wait? Is it not enough to give all your trust to the person you love? And most of all, is it not enough to keep your promises and serve as a cure to the loneliness, pain and suffering?
The world is made in balance. All things and all people were made with pairs. Happiness is paired with sadness. Comfort is paired with suffering. Winners are paired with losers. And I can say that our hearts also have a pair. It’s not literally the half of our heart because it beats as a whole. It’s just looking for someone to balance it. What if that person is far from you? Wouldn’t you try? Are you willing to wait? Are you willing to get hurt? Are you willing to believe and hope? Why don’t you try? For now, pain, loneliness and suffering is all you can feel. But the day will come when your hands can hold his/hers. The warmth of his/her embrace will be felt and the smiles on your faces will be seen again. And your heart will beat together with its pair. It’s because it’s better that you tried, and believed instead of giving up and neglecting your feelings.
Nothing is constant in this world. Everything is changing. Even the little things. Day by day, we don’t notice but when we look back to the yesteryears, we will realize that everything has changed. People come and go. Today, they might be there to help you and support you, but on the next day, you’ll find them busy with their own lives and couldn’t even be bothered to talk to. People that you thought who were going to be at your side forever aren’t. You all have your own separate path to walk on. Sometimes, it happens that you’ll be talking to people that you’ve never thought and imagined you’d be speaking to and voila! You’ve made new friends. Life is always like this. We think of it sometimes as a joke and other times, we are taking it seriously. But look, it makes a little sense. The more we age and grow up, the less sense it will make. Life is really short to waste it on nonsense things. Life is full of mysteries. We can never tell what will happen tomorrow. It will just come and then we will just have to see. So make the most out of it now while we have all the time we needed before everything changes once again. Because, in the future, all of these are only gonna be thoughts and memories.
I’ve always felt happy and contented even without the things I thought I needed to feel complete. I’ve always been a strong girl. I’m flexible and driven. But I never thought that at some point, I would have this kind of feeling. As if I were covered by a gloomy atmosphere.
Why am I feeling emptiness at this moment? I feel so empty, dull and lonely. I feel so alone as if I;m not surrounded by my family and friends that I dearly love. But there is something inside of me, searching for that extraordinary feeling. It’s as though that something is sure and knows what it’s looking for and what it’s needing of.
It’s late and I’m still wide awake. Well, I have always been a late sleeper. I cannot say that I’m an insomniac but it’s just that I’m not used to sleeping early.
Nights like this, silent and of course, sleepless makes my mind think of things the most. It makes me think shit load of questions I don’t even know how or what to answer. It’s when a time like this makes me wonder and fantasize of stuff. It’s when a time like this that millions of ideas strike me and all I have to do is get a paper and a pen to start writing like what I’m doing now. (After writing it, here I am typing all of it here) This time, LOVE hit me.
“So what do you do when you suddenly fall in love with a person but you realize that you’re not yet ready?” I always ask myself though I don’t really know how to answer it because that question is a matter between the heart and mind. My heart tells me that I’m ready for a new love and to open up again but my mind tells me I should not yet. My mind is tricky. It will make ways and think of negative possibilities that will scare my poor heart out. And that’s it, my mind wins.
Most of the time, I hate sleepless nights like this. I can’t sleep because of the questions that keep bugging my brain. “Why is it that every time I put myself out there, I always get hurt?” I wonder why. It’s another unanswered question. I don’t know what’s wrong with me that makes guys keep on hurting me, giving me false hopes and broken promises. Is it because I’m too nice to make them keep treating me that way? Or is it because I’m playing hard to get? I don’t really know. These are times when I think of the people I care the most and the people who care for me as well. Why do the people who love you, care for you and trust you got to live so far?
Those random questions, they just pop out whenever they want. Part of these silly thoughts is fantasizing about stuff. Of course, I’m a girl and just like any other girls, I daydream too. Do you ever think about your soul mate? Mr. or Ms. Right? Or whatever you like to call it. Often times, I think about it. I think of when will I be able to finally meet him. I’m just excited to meet him though I know it will take me long years to meet him. I’m just curious of what he looks like, how tall is he, what his eye color does he have, or if we can get along very well.
It’s difficult for me to describe my thoughts at a certain time because I’m describing them with hind sights and I can always justify my actions. The truth is, I was always hopeless at knowing when I was in love because I was in love in the whole idea of being in love. I read romantic novels. I cried at chick-flicks. I loved the stolen shots in magazines of celebrity couples who were supposed to be in love even though I knew they would probably split up a few months later. There was a core of me which was a romantic idiot and it was much, much better for me to ignore that side of me completely.
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